The Wooden Soldiers of Oz
by givelove1morechance
Summary: The path from Oz to other magical worlds lay long hidden until a vengeful old miser from Toyland stumbles upon it. Now powerful allies with the Wicked Witch of the West, it seems like no one can stop them...except for a pair of bumbling toymakers, a former thief, a scarecrow, a tin man, a lion, and two girls very far from home. (Crossover with March of the Wooden Soldiers, 1934)
1. Chapter 1

_Once upon a time, there were, and still are, enchanted lands that many say are only make-believe; stories told to instill imagination, hope, and other ideals in young children. But the children know better. They know that these realms are as real as you and I, and reaching them can be as simple as falling asleep or as sudden as a storm on a summer's day. These realms, while connected to each other, mostly went about without knowing of each other's existence for quite some time. That all changed one dark and terrifying night, when the machinations of one vengeful old miser, who played the part of the villain in one such story, led two very different – but also quite similar – worlds to meet, and change them both forever…_

To say Silas Barnaby was having a terrible night would be an understatement. What started out as a perfect plan for revenge had fallen to pieces the moment those two buffoons Stan and Ollie – who had just days before tricked him out of marrying the lovely young Bo Peep – revealed he had framed Tom the Piper's son for kidnapping one of the Three Little Pigs. Now with a bounty and the threat of banishment or worse on his head, he was forced to flee. Luckily, he had discovered months ago that the old dry well behind his house hid a secret passage that led to the caverns of Boogeyland. His idea would be to bide his time there and move forward with his original plan to take over Toyland with his army of Boogeymen when the time was right. He wasn't expecting to find Bo Peep already down there, however, sleeping in the arms of her beloved Tom-Tom.

Barnaby's attempt to abscond with Bo Peep failed when she woke up screaming, alerting Tom to the danger. They escaped back to Toyland with the help of Ollie and Stan, but it was the last straw for Barnaby. Overcome with fury and an unquenchable thirst for vengeance, he summoned his army and they broke through the gates of Toyland. The monstrous creatures, hungry for the man-flesh their master long promised them, spread their attack far throughout the land, leaving him to track down Bo Peep.

Just as Barnaby was about to succeed in carrying away his rightful bride once more, a small but powerful army of incredible life-size wooden soldiers appeared as if out of nowhere to attack them. The combination of these soldiers and the citizens of Toyland, who were rallied by the arrival of this brave steadfast cavalry, beat back the Boogeymen, and gave Barnaby quite a licking too. He couldn't remember if it was Elmer, the little pig he had kidnapped the night before, or one of his brothers who had bopped him on the head, but it still felt sore, as did most of his body.

Then again, he was currently trapped beneath a pile of large, luridly painted wooden blocks the soldiers had knocked over to fend off the invaders.

He could just hear the last sounds of the battle between the soldiers, Toylanders, and Boogeymen over his own breathing. As much as he wanted to get out from under the rubble, he had no idea if there was anyone nearby who would spy him making his escape. He certainly didn't want the whole town chasing after him again, especially in his condition.

No, he decided, as much as it pained him to admit, it was better to lie in waiting until the chance to emerge presented itself. What pained him the most, however, was not the waiting, nor the bruises he sustained, but the fury broiling inside him; the insatiable desire for retribution against all those who wronged him – which now included all of Toyland – that threatened to eat away at his very soul until he could bear it no longer.

That was how Silas Barnaby spent that long, long night, buried under a small mountain of wood with the burden of one who has a score to settle weighing far heavier upon him.

After an excruciating long time, Barnaby nudged one of the three blocks in front of him hindering his view. He could see that the lamps on the street – which were really giant candles like the ones you'd put on a birthday cake – had gone out. He moved the block again; now he could see more of the main street. It was dark, and not a single light came from any of the houses. There was no movement, no sounds to be heard. His confidence growing, Barnaby started to edge his way through the opening he created. He felt a rumble from above and froze.

One of the many blocks towering above him had come loose, no doubt thanks to his interference. One wrong move and the whole thing would come tumbling down upon him again. He'd have to be more careful if he were going to make his escape.

He realized he had dropped his faithful knobbly old walking stick somewhere in the streets during the fight. If he had it with him, he could have propped it into place and ensured his freedom. As if answering to his will, something rolled over his head and landed with a loud plink…plink…PLUNK on the ground before him, just within reach.

It was another wooden block, only this one was long and round and smooth, like a small pillar. Barnaby grinned and snatched it up. He wedged it between the block he was lying on and the one just above his head, making sure it would remain steady. Then, ever so slowly, he crawled out of his hiding place.

Old Silas Barnaby was a crooked man in every sense of the word; in his deeds, in his thoughts, in how he kept his home and even how he moved about. But nothing on this earth felt so good to him now as stretching his tired old limbs long and straight after hours remaining hidden. He thought the groans and little noises he made as he rolled his shoulders and cracked his fingers would be more than enough to alert the town to his presence. Reminded of his situation, he stole away to his home as the night sky turned to shades of grey and pink.

Almost nothing had changed about it during his time away – the dead bushes were nearly trampled and there were scratches at the door and window, though whether it was from the Boogeymen attack or the angry mob that pursued him after his treachery was discovered was unclear. The familiar dull shades of his brown and grey manor in contrast to the overbearing bright colors of the other houses of Toyland comforted him slightly. Using the rusty crooked key hidden beneath the doormat (and narrowly avoiding the rat trap he also hid there lest anyone else try to take said key), he opened the door and sneaked in.

As dark as it was inside the house, Barnaby knew he dared not light a fire or even a single candle and give himself away. He could see fairly well enough on his own. Besides, he only needed to get one very important thing, and then he would be gone. Nobody would ever know he had been there.

As he made his way to his bedroom, he spied something lying before the fireplace, breathing softly as it slept. He recognized it as his dwarf manservant, whose name he could never bother to remember. For a moment he considered waking him and asking about what had transpired while he was in hiding; it was safe to assume the people of Toyland had won the day despite the havoc wreaked upon their homes, but what fate did they believe had fallen upon their nemesis? Had he perished in the fight, or fled once more? Perhaps they thought his own voracious army had turned on him after their failure was made certain. Despite his aroused curiosity, Barnaby decided not to risk it. Having someone witness his return would be a liability he, even with all his wealth, could not afford.

He crept up the stairs, cursing himself for never attending to the creaks they made as he ascended. Reaching his bedroom, he went to the portrait of himself hanging on the wall across from his old four-poster bed. He took the portrait off the wall, revealing a safe. After carefully entering the combination, the safe door swung open.

Inside lay a glittering pile of gold, silver, and even a few precious stones – all the wealth Barnaby owned in the world, more than enough to last him for the rest of his life. He took a black velvet pouch from a nearby drawer and began to collect all his treasure inside of it. When the safe was completely emptied, and his pouch inversely full and weighing nearly as much as he, Barnaby closed the safe, positioned the painting back in its original spot, and made the trek down the stairs.

It was even harder this time, as he not only had the old steps to deal with but the jingling of his heavy pouch as well. As cumbersome as it was, he would never dream of departing this realm without the only thing in the world that mattered to him – his money. Despite his trepidation, a new sense of excitement was beginning to seep in. The makings of a plan were beginning to form in his mind.

Exiting through the back door, Barnaby went over to the old well and carefully climbed down the rungs. His pouch full of gold banged against his leg and the mossy stones, but he kept going until he reached the bottom. Now came the part that would spell either certain doom or the chance of a new life, and the promise of future payback on his enemies.

Slipping through the entrance to the Boogeyland caverns, he looked around. There was no sign of the hairy brutes he had once been lord and master of. If luck were truly on his side, he wouldn't run into any of them while he was down here. Even if a single one appeared, that meant many more were not far behind. He had a feeling that they wouldn't be too happy to find the man who drove them to pain and suffering after promises of food and a new world to conquer.

He repressed those dark thoughts and ventured through the caverns that took him deeper into Boogeyland, keeping one thing in mind – if there was a place beyond Toyland that wasn't Boogeyland, as he was sure there was, he was going to find it. And there he would start planning his revenge.

* * *

_Hello! Welcome to my first_ _story ever here! I'm really excited that after years of just reading I'm finally publishing something, and I hope you like it, but first, a little background:_

_I love The Wizard of Oz. It's one of my favorite movies of all time and I love the books too (though the later ones are pretty bizarre). When I was a kid it was one of the movies I played on repeat, along with one other that I've found not many people sadly remember or have heard of..._

_Thanksgiving weekend of 2013 __I rediscovered "March of the Wooden Soldiers" starring Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy. Even after all these years, it's still a lot of fun, very innocent, and very, very funny thanks to its two leads. To me, it's the definitive film adaptation of Babes in Toyland. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it (it's available to watch on Hulu in both black and white and color). Watching it again recently I noticed a lot of similarities it shared with The Wizard of Oz - they both take place in colorful fantasy worlds (well, colorful if you're watching one of the colorized versions of "March" at least) filled with simple but endearing characters, the sweet young heroine who has a tendency to lose her pet is threatened by a purely malicious villain who wants her as part of their evil schemes and controls an army of monsters, and she needs to be rescued by her comical best friends so she can return safely home. I wouldn't be surprised if one influenced the other when it was being made._

_Having made the connections, I started wondering what would happen if these characters and worlds somehow collided together. In my head I could imagine the conversations and moments they'd share, who'd get along best with who and so on. I've read stories that have done something similar before, and I was initially worried about trying it myself since this kind of crossover can come across as really contrived. Before I really sat down to write any of the chapters, however, I wrote a big outline of what happens and where the events of The Wizard of Oz come into play, and how, when and where the effects of what happened in March of the Wooden Soldiers play a part as well. (I also wrote some dialogue, details, character moments, etc. that I thought of at the moment to add or develop on later.). So, in the end, this whole story is planned out from beginning to end; all that needs to be done is for me to expand upon it bit by bit. I found I prefer writing the chapters out of order, so some parts will be up quicker than others._

_And confidentially, part of me did this because I really wanted to see Barnaby get what was coming to him after all he did in his movie. When I saw it again I forgot he buried under a pile of blocks and thought he got beat back out of Toyland with the Boogeymen, so I was more than a little disappointed. Not to spoil anything, but I've got big things in store for him. He's a lot of fun to write for anyway, so you're gonna love hating him as much as I do._

_I was originally going to have this chapter end when he meets the Wicked Witch since I wanted to set up how Barnaby reaches Oz, but I felt it was already going on for too long. Instead it will be split into two, maybe three chapters. You'll have to wait a little while longer to see what happens next...I can't say how long as this is more of a fun little side project for me while I'm doing my actual job, but I'll put up a chapter as soon as I'm satisfied with how it turns out._

_Also, fun fact: In addition to the various sequels to The Wonderful Wizard of Oz written by L. Frank Baum, there's an unofficial Russian Oz series written by Alexander Volkov, and one of them is titled "Urfin Joos and his Wooden Soldiers". If you haven't guessed by now, this isn't a rewritten version of that story, but it's a funny coincidence with the title I chose that I thought I'd mention (and I'm betting several Oz fans have come here thinking it was thanks to the title, to which I apologize for the confusion.)_

_I'm also putting this story up on Deviantart under the same title. Can't post the link here but if you look it up you'll find it along with a few little drabbles and artwork I've done in the past.  
_

_Any comments, feedback, etc. is appreciated. Thank you very much!_


	2. Chapter 2

Despite his strength waning, Barnaby kept going. He wandered further into Boogeyland than he ever did before, through more yawning caves, past towering stalagmites and withering cyprus trees. The only noises came from his own footsteps and the occasional drip of water from the high ceiling.

His mind was fixated on one thing – find a tunnel that led up and out instead of further and down. There had to be at least one that the Boogeymen didn't know about or use to leave the cursed grotto they called their home.

His bag of gold was starting to weigh him down. He sat on a rock to catch his breath. Pulling a handkerchief from his pocket, he mopped his brow and cleaned the dust off his spectacles. This journey was taking longer than he had anticipated. Oh, how he wished he had his walking stick with him! He was so caught up in his own self-pitying that he failed to notice something creeping up behind him.

Barnaby turned around as he felt a hot, heavy breath on the back of his neck. With a scream he fell off the rock as one of the Boogeymen loomed over him, its fangs jutting out over its upper lip, which was curled in something like a sneer. Its tiny black eyes were focused right on Barnaby. It gave a snort from its pig-like snout followed by a guttural roar.

Almost instantly, several more Boogeymen appeared, jumping out from behind rocks or down from the ceiling. What started as five turned into twenty, then thirty, then nearly fifty, all within a matter of seconds. Barnaby found himself surrounded by the beasts, each one glaring at him with animalistic, malicious intent.

No two Boogeymen looked the same. Though each one was covered with coarse brown fur, had long sharp claws and wore a grass loincloth, one had huge pointed ears like a bat, while another had the grin of a shark, and another had slit nostrils like a snake. Half-man and half-animal, they stood on two legs but bore the most monstrous of features.

Barnaby was too terrified to move. He could only shake and stammer. "N-now listen here, all of you. I-I was only j-just coming down to apologize for how things went sour up in Toyland." The Boogeymen snarled in response; even with their limited intellect, they could see right through his lies.

Barnaby eyed his pouch full of treasure. He hated to part with it but if it meant his survival, well, he had done worse things before. He held it up to them. "Here…is a little compensation on my part. Take it! It's yours!" He shook the bag with a conniving smile. At this the Boogeymen roared and pounced upon him.

Barnaby lost his grip on the pouch and it fell just out of his reach. He tried to grab it through the mounds of shaggy fur and writhing limbs. Several times a claw or set of fangs would come too close for comfort yet by some miracle would just miss its mark.

As Barnaby tried to clamber out of the rabble, something always dragged him back in. Despite this, he kept reaching for his satchel, first with one hand, then a few fingers, then…there! With one finger he dragged it to back him, then gathered it up with his free hand. With his prize out of harm's way, Barnaby managed to crawl through the pile of monsters - who by this time had turned their hostility towards each other - grabbed his old black hat which had fallen during the scuffle, and backtracked down the nearest tunnel.

Barnaby fled through the endless rocky abyss with the bag of gold scooped up in his arms like a baby. By this point he had fully lost his sense of direction - he had no idea where he was going and where he had came from.

A distant roar followed by several more like it meant that the Boogeymen had discovered their prey had given them the slip. Eventually, they would find him and leave nothing but a pile chewed-up bones when they were done. Still, Barnaby kept on going. His instinct for survival was pushing him to his limits, but giving up was never an option for the Crooked Man. It was only when he dared to stop and look back at how far he had gone that his instincts rewarded him.

He didn't know how he had missed it before, but behind him, just on his right, was another tunnel hewed into the cave wall. What separated this from the others, however, were the rubies and emeralds embedded around it, glinting in what little light there was in the cave.

Barnaby went up to it and caressed one of the gems with his long, bony fingers. "Beautiful," he thought. Before his greed could fully seize him, he decided to investigate further.

In the tunnel, there were more red and green jewels sticking out of the walls. Some even littered the ground like ordinary stones. They became larger the further he went, and it wasn't long before he could feel the floor beneath him beginning to slant upward.

Barnaby knew, at last, that he had found what he had been looking for. Now confident, he pounced upon the jewels, gathering as many as he could in fistfuls before adding them to his bag of treasure. Unfortunately for him, his luck started to run out. He may have escaped the Boogeymen largely unscathed, but his pouch wasn't as lucky.

As Barnaby poured the jewels in, they, and whatever else remained inside, fell right back out at his feet. He looked inside it and his face fell – there was a long gash near the bottom that was, at the moment, big enough to fit both his hands through.

He turned around and saw a trail of all his gold and silver leading back through and out of the tunnel of jewels. It was at this point that he also heard the snarling and shambling of the monsters he was trying to escape growing louder and louder. He had led them directly to him. With a cry, Barnaby threw down the torn pouch, stuffed whatever gems he could into his coat pockets, and ran like the dickens.

The tunnel slanted further upwards and soon became very steep. A mix of both jewels and rough stones made the path more rocky. No longer able to run without stumbling, Barnaby found himself having to climb up on all fours. He kept his focus straight ahead, praying that he would soon reach the exit as the sounds of the Boogeymen drifted to his ears. Foolishly he dared to look back – they were very nearly upon him, climbing up and over one another to catch their quarry.

Barnaby was so afraid that he didn't look where he was going and nearly ran face-first into a boulder large enough to obscure what lay ahead of him. Desperately, he clambered over it. He could feel it coming loose beneath him as he did, but it did not give way. As he reached solid ground, he could see a faint light before him – he was nearly there!

Triumphant, he turned to face his attackers. With a cocky sneer he shouted down at them, "So, you think you can attack your lord and master Silas Barnaby and not expect any consequences? I promised you land! I promised you a feast! And when you failed you turn on me? Well –" He began to kick at the loose boulder before him, sending a few pebbles and small rubies tumbling on to the Boogeymen's shaggy heads. "This! Will teach you! To trifle! With! The true! Master! Of Toyland!"

With one final push, the boulder rolled forward, and Barnaby watched in amazement as it plowed through the terrified Boogeymen – not because of what was happening, but because the boulder was, in fact, a giant emerald, its beauty partially hidden by the earth before it was sent on a collision course with an army of monsters.

The Boogeymen who weren't in the immediate path of the emerald or had fallen behind ran for their lives out of the tunnel, leaving the rest to face the giant stone head-on. Their frightened shrieks bounced off the walls along with the cacophonous rumblings of the tumbling emerald. When it reached the mouth of the tunnel, it collided with an almighty crash and stuck there.

Barnaby stood over the wreckage, winded by his exertion, but feeling relieved. Whatever Boogeymen had remained in the tunnel with him were dead, and the others were far too afraid to come back and try to take him again. With a smug smile of satisfaction, he turned around and started to head back up the path towards the light.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and let his fingers sift through the jewels he had collected. That's when he felt something in his left pocket that didn't feel like a gemstone. It was round, cold, and hard, like a coin. Anticipating a piece of gold he had somehow overlooked, Barnaby whipped it out of his pocket to inspect it. What he found, however, wasn't gold or silver. It wasn't even a half-crown or a shilling.

It was a sixpence. A tarnished, rough, slightly dented, crooked sixpence. It lay on Barnaby's flat palm while he stared down at it.

At first he was overwhelmed with disappointment. He was ready to throw away the rusty old coin and continue on his journey when his greed made him reconsider. Money was money, after all, and every coin, no matter how small, had its worth.

But just as he was about to pocket it, something else, a tiny voice in the back of his mind, made him look at the crooked sixpence a little longer. The coin was old to be sure, yet Barnaby had the strangest feeling that he _knew_ the old sixpence, like it was an old friend, a part of him long forgotten.

That voice called out to him again, urging him to keep looking, to think deeper and harder ...

His current situation came back to him before he could delve further, however. He shoved the coin back into his pocket with a grumble. What was he thinking, acting like a single coin was so important when he was already carrying emeralds and rubies the size of his fists.

Barnaby trudged up the path toward the light. The cave became brighter but not to a dazzling degree, even with the jewels sparkling on the walls. When he finally emerged, the first thing he saw was the sky. It was the faint blue-purple glow of twilight, with grey and lavender clouds like claw marks gliding past. Barnaby looked around and found himself in a desolate forest.

The twisted trees were almost bare. Brown leaves carpeted the ground. The wind made eerie noises as it blew past him. Barnaby pulled his coat a little closer to him as he walked through the woods. There was nobody in sight, but he had the oddest feeling that he wasn't alone here.

Looking up he saw some unfamiliar grey birds on a branch staring back down at him with glowing red eyes. One flew away with a loud screech. Not for the first time this day, Barnaby found himself second-guessing his plan. He ran his fingers through his jewel-laden pockets for comfort.

He tread carefully through the woods until he reached a beaten dirt path. At a fork in the road stood a crudely painted wooden sign proclaiming he was in "The Haunted Forest" with one mile left until he reached "The Witch's Castle" ("I'd turn back if I were you!").

"A witch? Here?" Barnaby thought. He looked around again apprehensively, as if a cackling old crone would pounce upon him at any moment. Instantly he made up his mind to be anywhere BUT here right now. If witches prowled this strange land, he'd be better off as far away from it as possible.

That's when he heard the distant flapping of wings, like a flock of birds in flight, accompanied by another sound like the call of the Boogeymen, but high-pitched, shorter, and multiplied by a hundred. A gust of wind nearly blew his hat off his head. Barnaby turned around to find whatever was making those noises was heading right for him.

Barnaby was not far off in imagining a flock when he heard his pursuers. These creatures were carried through the air on feathered wings, but they were birds just as much as he was. Their faces were blue and their bodies were covered in blue and grey fur. Some of them wore little vests and hats that matched their skin.

Barnaby couldn't count how many there were coming at him, but he knew that they couldn't have anything good store for him. Still holding on to his hat for dear life, he fled as quick as he could. The creatures landed all around him, cutting off his path. They shrieked and grinned at him through wide red lips, and Barnaby couldn't hold back a shiver of terror at the sight.

All of a sudden, he was pulled off his feet high into the air. The forest seemed to shrink beneath him. Looking up, he saw two monstrosities holding him up as they flew to the west. Barnaby saw the signpost below and felt his stomach drop. They were flying towards the direction of the witch's castle.

* * *

_Looking through this chapter again, I'm glad I decided to split this up into two chapters. When it was combined something felt a bit off about the ending, but I didn't want to jump directly into the scene where Barnaby meets the Witch (and at the time I hadn't written that part yet). Yes, it means following only one character with very little dialogue, but at least we finally get to see some of Oz. (And remember that sixpence, you WILL be quizzed on it later!)_

_Oh, and if you haven't actually seen March of the Wooden Soldiers, I should warn you, the Boogeymen look a lot sillier than you probably already imagine them to be. I admit I sort of played up the more monstrous side of them here. They're one of those things where as a child you find them kind of scary but now you can't help but laugh at them when you're older because they're so obviously costumes and rubber masks (ever see The Simpsons episode "Skinner's Sense of Snow"? Yeah, the Christmas Hobgoblins in the movie they're forced to watch are totally based off of them). At the same time, however, there are a TON of these creatures in the film's climax, so they do manage to pose a big threat to our heroes (Think the Morlocks from The Time Machine meets a zombie horde). Speaking of heroes, next time we'll get to see just what happened to them now that the battle is finally over...or so they think..._

_For those of you curious, yes, I was sort of channeling the climax of Snow White with the giant emerald, though is is just me or did it turn into bowling with Indiana Jones at the end? I should really stop editing these chapters at midnight..._

_Any comments and feedback is appreciated. Thanks for reading!_

_(Also, the reason why it's a crossover but posted in the regular section was because I couldn't find an "Other" option or a way to make one for "March of the Wooden Soldiers". If anyone can tell me how that'd be great because I'd hate for this to get taken down because of this)_


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